It’s almost Valentine’s day! Those of you in a loving partnership are probably quite excited at the prospect of some romance with your sweetheart. Those of you in a troubled or distant relationship are probably feeling some sense of longing and you may be hoping that this special day will bring you closer together. Those of you in no partnership at all are probably in one of two camps: Camp 1, you have a solid love relationship with yourself and so you’re excited at the prospect of treating yourself to some fabulous things as an expression of your self-love. Or Camp 2, you’re anxious and annoyed that this day even exists and wish that you could just skip it – that the world could just forget about it and then you wouldn’t have to feel so lonely and be reminded, yet again, that you have not yet found that special someone.
This article is for you number 2’s! It is also for any of the rest of you who would like to enhance your relationship with yourself and in so doing, strengthen all your connections with others – you see, the greater your self-esteem and self-love, the easier all of your relationships become because you are more solid and grounded and respecting of yourself; you’re also more solid and grounded with others within your relationships.
Below are ten suggestions of things you can do to really show yourself that you love and care for you; to show yourself that you believe you are worthy of love and connection even if you haven’t yet found that special someone. Even if you and your sweetheart are experiencing some distance right now, this is applicable. If you’d like to enhance your relationship with yourself, consider committing to following through with at least one of the suggestions for yourself.
While you’re working on this, offer yourself this mantra:
“I am worthy of love and approval. I offer myself love and approval for no reason at all, just because I exist.”
Top Ten List of Things You Can Do To Love Yourself
1. Treat yourself to a massage, pedicure, facial or whatever spa treatment you like best or have always wanted to try.
2. Buy yourself some beautiful flowers – the ones you wish that special someone would surprise you with! Place them in a vase in a central place in your office or home and whenever you see them, remind yourself of your mantra.
3. Head off to the specialty, fancy-schmancy chocolate shop. Every town has one. Don’t settle for commercial bars or bulk bins! Go for the gusto and buy a handful of freshly made chocolates – your very favorites. Sit down and really savor them. Good quality dark or raw chocolate is especially good for you and releases endorphins similar to those released during sex – so go for it! Have some fun!
4. Go to the card shop and buy yourself a special Valentines day card or just a general “I love you” card and mail it to yourself – yes – pop it in the mail – shell out the 54 cents for the stamp and enjoy receiving a special card from yourself in a few days. You could write in it all the things you love about yourself and the things that you see in yourself as strengths. Enjoy!
5. If you like alcohol, treat yourself to a nice bottle of wine or champagne but only have a glass or two! Just sip and enjoy. And if alcohol is not on your list of fave’s or options, then raid the emergency fund for some sparkling juice, some Aqua Libra etc. and put it in a nice glass. Perhaps you could enjoy it with your chocolates!
6. Buy yourself a nice new journal – something that looks special and honouring of the essence of you. Begin a page in your journal simply by writing all of the things you are grateful for in your life at that moment. Each morning set the journal by your breakfast table or wherever you stop for a moment – even if it’s the kitchen counter. Take a moment to read the entry from the day before and then add a new entry of the things you’re grateful for in your life.
7. Take yourself for a drive or a nice walk in nature. Where I live we are blessed with many trails for gentle hiking as well as ocean on all sides for many walks along the beach or just drives along the water. Even if you live in a very urban setting you can still get out and wander, enjoying the energy, sights and smells around you.
8. It has been said, and I believe it is true, that it is the love coming out of us that makes us happy, not the love we get from others. So, take some time this St.Valentine’s day to express your love and appreciation for friends, family, co-workers. You don’t have to buy expensive gifts. You can just send an email or a note/card with a sentence or two about what you like most about that person and why you’re glad they’re in your life. Try it, I guarantee you’ll feel much better, much more connected to others and you’ll enhance those relationships significantly.
9. Ask yourself, “If I were in a relationship that really met my needs fully – what would my partner be doing for me this Valentine’s day? And what would I be doing for him/her?” Then do those things for yourself. Take yourself out for a nice dinner with a great book. If funds are tight, then make a special meal with the things you love that you have stashed for a rainy day. Go see a movie. Build a fire and cuddle up with your cat, that same great book, glass of wine, etc.
10. Keep coming back to your mantra. Put it up where you can see it often. You will enjoy the love in and around you when you allow yourself to express love and gratitude for yourself. You don’t have to be perfect to be deserving of love. And you don’t have to have that perfect relationship in order to give and receive love on Valentine’s day. Let yourself express love for yourself and for others and see how much more happy, content, and, well…..loving and loved you feel.