Cedric Centre for Counselling Inc.

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Assuming is a one-sided perspective

The pattern of assuming that your perception is the “right” one may have helped you to separate from past abusive or co-dependent connections. You may have needed such an all-or-nothing approach to life in the past to be able to stand strong and reinforce your needs with key people in your life. The problem is that the best you can do when you are wedded to the practice of assumption is to be in the independent stage of relationship. Interdependence cannot exist with all-or-nothing thinking. It is impossible. At best, you have two strong, independent people who have learned to cohabit and keep their distance. At worst, you have a co-dependent connection or abusive relationship where one person consistently gets their way and the other doesn’t.

If you have noticed this pattern of assuming in any of your key relationships, now is the time to ask yourself what type of relationship you want with this person. If you want a good, healthful, open, honest and trusting relationship, you must be willing to allow for the possibility that your perspective is not the only one. You must be willing to allow for the possibility that the other person is not out to “get” you or to pull one over on you.

 

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