The term co-dependency means that you perceive yourself as responsible for the feelings and needs of others. Those of us who use food to cope have an abundance of co-dependent training, and that is why we need to use food to cope. It is overwhelming being so responsible, so at fault. Our food focus gives us something else to concentrate on, however harmful, and momentarily decreases our state of anxiety. It is exhausting to be consistently inundated with the belief that whatever other people are thinking, feeling, doing, and needing, it’s all about us. Somehow, we did or didn’t do something which created this thought, feeling, behaviour, or need in the other, and sooner or later, we are going to be held responsible for this thing – whatever it is.
You may perceive yourself as being responsible for the feelings and needs of others, but this is just downright untrue. You are not responsible for what someone else thinks, feels and needs, or for their behaviour. You are not responsible for how someone else chooses to interpret their world or for how they choose to respond to their interpretations. No, you are not. Even if they say you are, this is only an indication of their own co-dependent belief system.