We Will Show You How to Stop Emotional Eating, Stress Eating, or Binging For Good – And Build Solid Self-Confidence and Great Relationships at the Same Time
If you’re tired of overeating, emotional eating, or not being able to maintain a solid grip on food and on your weight we can help.
Through my recovery from binge eating disorder and emotional eating and my now 20+ years as a counselling specialist in the field of eating disorders, emotional eating and binging I know for a fact that if you’re eating more than you’re hungry for, or more than you feel is appropriate, or you’re drawn to eat foods that you know aren’t in the best interests of your goals for health and wellness or weight loss, you’re using food to cope with stress. Guaranteed.
You may not want to. You might be desperate to stop and you may very well have promised yourself you would not overeat any more, but the reality is, if you’re eating more than you’re hungry for or can’t seem to stop once you start you are using food to cope with the stress in your life. No Exceptions.
You may think you have no stress, or that the stress you have is nothing special and that others seem to be able to handle similar stress without binging. In reality – you don’t really know how the others in your life manage their stress or how they feel about themselves in terms of confidence in asking for what they need and in setting healthy and clear boundaries in regards to the requests or demands of others in their lives.
What I can guarantee you is that if the people around you do not feel confident in their right and ability to ask for what they need and know how to trust that they will put themselves first while considering the needs of others, they are definitely, without exception using some coping strategy to manage their stress just like you.
It might be drinking, or drugs, or medication, or T.V., or video games, or isolation, or procrastination, or anger, or defensiveness, or sarcasm, or shopping or a number of other common human coping strategies, but I can guarantee you that anyone who doesn’t understand the basic equation of relationships and self-esteem and is therefore feeling obligated to prioritize the needs of others or the approval of others over their own needs, is definitely leaning on some coping strategy to numb and soothe them and get them through their day.
Given the 10’s of millions of people who use the substances and activities mentioned above on a regular basis, you can feel confident that you are not alone in feeling overwhelmed and confused by life at times and in leaning on something to help you soothe yourself or simply distract yourself from the stress of life.
The good news is that no matter how long you’ve been struggling and feeling anxious or overwhelmed or insecure or believing that you have to compromise yourself for others in order for them to like you or want to be around you, the solution is really simple and it will, absolutely, lead to better relationships with the people in your life than you ever thought possible.
The solution also solves the problem of emotional eating, binge eating or eating disorders and brings you naturally to a healthy, normal, sexy weight for your body without dieting or rigorous exercise programs.
Life will be better than you ever imagined and you’ll feel a sense of peace and confidence you only dreamed of before – often within 8-10 individual counselling sessions; a couple of months on our web based program; and/or attendance at one of our 3 day life training events.
Regardless of what has happened in the past in your life or how many different programs, diets, or even surgical options you’ve tried, the solution is simple and fast and you can be successful in your goals to never stress about food again, stop emotional eating, binging or any form of eating disorder and feel confident in yourself and in your body in just a few short months with this program.
The following are some examples of situations where we undermine our sense of safety and trust in our ability to keep ourselves safe:
- We have a relative who frequently makes comments about our weight, but we don’t say anything because we don’t want to “make a scene” or hurt their feelings.
- We’re in a meeting at work and a colleague has just said something that we believe is untrue, but we don’t call them on it because we don’t want them to be angry with us.
- We know we aren’t that interested in dating a certain someone, but we agree to go out with them because we don’t want to hurt their feelings.
Notice the theme? It’s all about what others are going to think and feel. We’re so very concerned with what others think of us and feel about us that we’ll compromise ourselves time and time again just to avoid any possibility of judgement or rejection. We can’t possibly begin to feel safe in the world and the sense of peace and happiness and trust in ourselves that we need in order to cease using food to cope if we’re going to keep putting what others think of us ahead of how we feel and what we need.
Where does that seemingly insatiable need for external approval come from?
It comes from the belief that we are not good enough as we are. Thus, we desperately need everyone’s constant approval, regardless of what we have to do to get it, or we will feel the painful sting of the “not good enough” story.
One of the primary experiences in childhood/young adulthood that sets us up to believe that we are not good enough is emotional abuse. You’ve probably heard the term but you may not truly understand what it is and how it impacts you – specifically how it is the most significant contributor to your lack of trust and safety in yourself and in the world around you.
Emotional abuse occurs when someone manipulates our feelings intentionally. As adults, we are ultimately responsible for what we choose to respond to and for how we choose to respond. As children, we look to the adults around us to model healthy and appropriate behaviour. We look to those same adults to demonstrate, through their caring and treatment of us, our worth or value in the world. If our role models were unable to ask directly for what they needed while respecting our boundaries, should we say no to their request, it follows that we would mature into adults who feel unable to ask for our needs to be met. Given this scenario, we would naturally have a limited concept of what boundaries are and why they are necessary for healthy and respectful interpersonal relationships.
The use of guilt, manipulation, and threats, as well as the withdrawal of love and affection, are all examples of emotional abuse.
Emotional neglect occurs when our most basic need for love and acceptance isn’t met. As children, we all have a need for love and acceptance. It is natural, and it is our right as human beings to have that need met effectively and consistently. When we do not receive consistent love and acceptance, we tend, as children, to try to make sense out of the pain and suffering we feel by imagining that we are somehow to blame. Somehow, we are not good enough, not loveable enough, and so we don’t deserve love and affection. That is what we tell ourselves to make sense of the lack of healthy emotional connection in our lives. This is a common circumstance and it is a very harmful one. It sets the stage for the internalization of many critical messages that continue to play in our heads long after we have left our family of origin.
A study in the Journal of Counselling Psychology, 2002, identified emotional abuse and/or emotional neglect as the experience in childhood most likely to lead to an eating disorder or sub-clinical disordered eating. The experience of emotional abuse or neglect forces us to find ways to cope with the pain of our unmet need for love and belongingness. It is just too painful for us to be conscious of our need for love and not have any effective way of getting that need met. As children or young adults, the best coping strategy that we can think of is to distance ourselves from our feelings and from any awareness that we have emotional needs at all. This is a state of being called “Alexithymia”. It means a lack of connection to and awareness of our feelings. It is the mediating factor between childhood emotional abuse or neglect and the onset of disordered eating.
The Solution: How to Stop Emotional Eating
The answer to overcoming the use of food to cope or other substance abuse concerns is not to ignore your feelings. The answer is not found in berating yourself for having feelings or for not being stronger and more able to cope with the traumatic events of your life. That approach only serves to continue the abuse and neglect from within. It perpetuates the harm that was done to you when you are now an adult and able to have a life that is free from abuse and safe from harm.
The answer is found in taking the time to build trust in yourself, and in others, so that you can create the space for the compassion and love that you never had. It is possible and so very rewarding for you to meet your own need for love and compassion. Doing so does not mean that you won’t get that need met outside of yourself – in fact it truly creates a far greater likelihood of getting the need for love and acceptance met in all areas of your life.
Imagine what that would feel like! To truly trust yourself to respect your feelings and needs in any situation with anyone creates such peace and joy within and such loving respectful relationships with others that the use of food to cope just falls away. It becomes incongruent with who you really are and you just let it go. No fear, no pressure, no pain, just freedom.
If you think that emotional stress may be triggering you to use food to cope let us support you to heal this piece of your life. We will help you by giving you guidelines on how to overcome emotional eating. You deserve to have a life that is free from harm.
Send us an e-mail and let us know how we can be there for you. We can give you advice on how to stop emotional eating.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this free offering. The CEDRIC Centre is committed to ensuring that everyone who wants information and support to heal from harmful coping strategies and their own stressful relationship with food, themselves or others, can access this support regardless of their financial situation or geographic location. If you feel you benefited from this offering please take a moment to pass it on to others. Share the link with friends and family; like our YouTube page; pass it along to teachers and educators, fitness instructors, doctors, dieticians, and to others who you think can benefit from what we do. Everyone can take advantage of these tools, and we can enhance our community and the lives of more men and women every day.