Doubting Your Deservedness
It’s not necessary for me to meet you to know, in my soul, that there is nothing about you (even that worst-ever thing that you keep beating yourself up with) that is so horrible or so lacking that you deserve to be treated with disrespect and harmed by others’ words or actions. You just think you do, but it’s not true at all. You do not need to go on doubting your deservedness.
However, because you have told yourself that it is true, you believe you are deserving of crap or that this is the best you can hope for: you are settling for mistreatment and lack of security in your life in some key relationships, whether they are with your partner, your boss, your children, your friends or relatives. No one on earth has the right to disrespect you, and you always have the right to leave a relationship or take a break if that person is harming you, mentally, verbally, or physically and not willing to acknowledge and change their behaviour.
What will make this a no-brainer for you is to learn how to know when your perception of a person and/or a situation is accurate. When you trust that you are seeing things clearly it becomes impossible for you to doubt yourself and what is right, and it becomes impossible for others to manipulate or threaten you into compromising yourself.
Trusting your perception of things and thus your deservedness has 3 key pieces. All of which can be explored in tandem and fairly quickly. To learn to stop doubting your deservedness you must:
1. Establish your own set of values and principles: These are your Beliefs and the Mores of society that you feel have merit and that you seek to exemplify in your relationship with yourself and others. This one piece alone makes life so much simpler and will make you feel so much stronger and clearer in your dealings with anyone else.
2. Learn how to trust that your assessment of yourself and your actions and intentions and capabilities is accurate.
3. And learn how to know what is reasonable for someone to ask of you and what is not – and therefore what you have a right to say no to.
When you have confidence in your ability to assess for the 3 aspects of relationship you will find it much easier to feel truly confident in yourself and in your relationships with others. You’ll also notice an amazing side-effect which is that your stressful coping behaviours like binging, eating disorders, dieting, weight loss struggles, drinking, isolating, procrastinating etc. will fall away.
You’ll feel much more peaceful in every area of your life.
If you’d like to learn how to make these 3 steps happen for you and start feeling deserving of care and consideration and all the things everyone else deserves, email and let me know. I am here to help you with a simple and speedy set of tools that will change everything for the better.