Cedric Centre for Counselling Inc.

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Archive for October, 2009

Attending to Your Needs

Attending to Your NeedsIt seems like my last article on needs (“Having needs doesn’t make you needy”) struck a deep chord in many readers. That makes perfect sense. It is the fundamental issue. The only reason you ever use food to cope, no exceptions, is because you have needs that aren’t being met in some area of your life and you’ve told yourself that you’re not allowed, not deserving, or just not capable of getting them met, no matter what you do. These stories you’re telling yourself lead you to feel depressed and anxious, lethargic and frantic, in other words, they overwhelm you.

And when you’re feeling overwhelmed about something you believe you can’t do anything to change or resolve, the only thing to do is to find a way to diminish or discount the impact of that thing: to numb out.

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Tweets on 2009-10-25

Tweets on 2009-10-25

  • I’ll be giving a live weekend workshop in Vancouver Nov 13-15. http://bit.ly/1A2awC #
  • Why keep up the vicious cycle of focusing on food? Don’t you deserve to be free? #
  • The Cedric Centre provides face-to-face and virtual counselling to people worldwide. #
  • Eating disorders workshop in Vancouver, BC Nov 13-15. http://bit.ly/1A2awC #
  • Food is Not the Problem book is a comprehensive self-help recovery program. http://bit.ly/tSYWs #
  • Are you or a loved one challenged by using food to cope? Vancouver workshop Nov 13-15. http://bit.ly/1A2awC #
  • Have a live workshop experience with me in Vancouver Nov 13-15. http://bit.ly/1A2awC #
  • Did you know 90% of all eating disorders start with dieting? #
  • 95% of people who diet gain the weight back within 1 to 5 years. #
  • Family-of-origin issues are a big part of eating disorders, but people can learn how to stop the cycle with gentle encouragement. #
  • Coming to Vancouver in November? I’m giving a workshop Nov 13-15. http://bit.ly/1A2awC #

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Having Needs Doesn’t Make You Needy

Having NeedsHello out there!  Thank you for stopping by and taking the time from your busy day to explore some new ways of looking at life and of being in the world.

One of the themes that comes up every day in my work with clients is needs.  Okay, okay, to be honest, it’s usually me bringing it up…..but there’s a really good reason for that. Having needs doesn’t make you needy, it makes you normal.

You see, if you’re overeating, restricting, binging and purging, dieting, drinking, smoking, toking, shopping, gambling, procrastinating, isolating or ruminating on relationships more than you’d like, you’re using a coping strategy. And the only reason any human being ever uses a coping strategy is because they have needs that aren’t being met in some (or many) area(s) of their lives. (more…)

Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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Tweets on 2009-10-18

Tweets on 2009-10-18

  • I would love to meet up with you at the Van Health Show Oct 17-18. http://bit.ly/tq3rd #
  • The part of you that is so able to care for others can care for you. #
  • I’m gearing up for the Van Health Show Oct 17-18. Hope to see you there! http://bit.ly/tq3rd #
  • The real you is there under the guise of an eating disorder. #
  • Coming soon: My appearance at the Van Health Show Oct. 17-18. http://bit.ly/tq3rd #
  • Emotionally-charged situations can drive you to use food to cope, but you can learn how to deal with them in a self-enhancing way. #
  • Get the real deal on using food to cope. Join me at the Van Heath Show Oct 17-18. http://bit.ly/tq3rd #
  • Often relationships without boundaries in your formative years caused you to start using food to cope. #
  • Catch me in Vancouver at the Van Health Show Oct 17-18. http://bit.ly/tq3rd #

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Procrastination and Isolation

isolationA few weeks ago, during our self-care series, I received this email asking for some specific support around goal setting and changing harmful patterns.

“Thank you for this article, it sounds so easy when you break the goal down into small pieces that are seemingly easily attainable.

I’m really struggling with a lack of sociability. I put off going out and meeting people (even going to the market) and am getting more and more housebound.  I find myself dreading any social contact and I just want to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed.  Can you help me with my goal of being a little more outgoing and getting myself to socialize without throwing myself into a state of panic?  Thanks for all your great articles and help.”

For those of you out there also struggling with the coping strategies of isolation, avoidance and procrastination, let me offer you a suggestion for moving past and into an experience of life that is fuller and richer than the one you’re living right now.

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Posted in: CEDRIC Centre, Relationship with Others, Relationship with Self

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Gratitude – An Interesting Theme

GratitudeHello out there!!  Thanks for tuning in again this week. It really is an honor to know you value me as a professional and share my philosophy enough to take time from your busy lives to explore with me this crazy ride that is life.

Gratitude. An interesting theme. It is Thanksgiving Day in Canada; A time to connect with family and friends and give thanks for the many blessings in our lives. Why only one day a year? Things that make you go hmmmm…?

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Tweets on 2009-10-11

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  • The work of personal change is not an overnight fix, but 3 simple keys can immediately start freeing you. #
  • Ready to find out what drives you to use food to cope? I’ll explain at the Van Health Show Oct 17-18. http://bit.ly/tq3rd #
  • Being released from using food to cope isn’t about digging up the past but understanding the triggers that come from it. #
  • I’ll be a key presenter at the Van Health Show Oct 17-18. http://bit.ly/tq3rd #
  • You can learn to eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full. And it’s not about willpower. #
  • Find freedom from focusing on food. Hear my presentation at Van Health Show Oct 17-18. http://bit.ly/tq3rd #
  • Your all-or-nothing thinking stands in the way of you letting go of the need to binge, purge, or restrict food. #
  • I’ll be giving live presentations at the Van Health Show Oct 17-18. Please stop by my booth, too! http://bit.ly/tq3rd #
  • Experiences of the past often trigger your need to overeat or restrict food. #
  • Travelling to Van in Oct? I’ll be at the Van Health Show Oct 17-18. http://bit.ly/tq3rd #

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When Opportunity Knocks

When Opportunity KnocksHey out there! I was just getting ready for my day and my mind was reflecting on a few recent events in my life and noticing a commonality between them. So naturally I thought I’d share these reflections with you.

It seems that the overall lesson is that when life presents us with an opportunity to change a harmful pattern, we have two choices (assuming we’re conscious enough of the pattern to see it in the first place):

1. We can see the opportunity to do things differently and choose to do things the same old way anyway. Usually we make this choice out of fear of change or fear of angering or disappointing someone if we were to behave differently than they “expect.”

Or…..

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Self-Care Final Part: Realistic Goals

Self-CareHello! How was your week?

This is the final installment in our 6-part series on self-care. If you haven’t read the others, here are the links:
The First Step to Self-Care
Self-Care Part 2
Self-Care Part 3: Sustainable Change Begins
Self-Care Part 4: Getting from Here to There
Self-Care Part 5: Letting Go of Your Stories

Did you experiment with one goal, plotting it on a continuum and coming up with three small steps? If not, what stopped you? No time? No faith? No energy?

This article deals with the first one which provides you with the last two!  You see the more effectively you manage your time and the more realistic your expectations are, given that you have 24 hours in the day, the more energy you’ll have, the more successful you’ll be at everything you try and therefore, the more faith you’ll have in yourself to succeed and the more faith you’ll have in the process (which means you’ll do it more so you’ll experience even more change and even more success which means you’ll feel even more energized and more hopeful and trusting of yourself and of the process of change). It’s a wonderful reciprocal relationship, and the first step is setting clear and realistic goals.  Did you hear that last part? Realistic goals?  I’ll bet you if you’re not taking action already to reach your desired goals for health, wellness, peace, love, passion and fulfillment, you do not have realistic goals. Let me prove that to you and then let us set about the work of clearing the decks so you can move forward!
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