Michelle Morand was interviewed on the ‘A’ Channel’s morning show talking about Eating Disorders.
Archive for January, 2009
Hello out there in our CEDRIC community! It’s the new year and perhaps you’re feeling it’s time to make some changes to the way you relate to food and to how you look and feel about your body. I’m pleased to announce that CEDRIC is offering our intensive weekend workshops in October, in both Vancouver and Victoria. These intensives are called ‘transformative’ for a reason! If you’d like to experience rapid and lasting change in your relationship with food and your feelings towards your body, join us for our intensive weekend workshop.
For more information firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m happy to answer any questions you might have. Come and join us and see how quickly and easily you can forever change your relationship with food!
Come and join us for an intensive workshop where we teach you how to identify the route cause of why you use food or restricting food to cope with stress and tools to learn how to cope differently and adopt a new attitude towards the stressors in your life. We cover issues that not only help you address your disordered eating, but many aspects of your life, including self-esteem, relationships, boundaries and an inner dialogue to help your ‘re-jig’ your thinking so you are facing these issues and more with a healthier, more empowered point of view. We employ 3 simple, yet life-altering tools that help remove the need to rely on food as the answer to the stress in your life. No matter where you live or how long you’ve been using food to cope, you can find your way to freedom, and it’s easier than you think!
Also see some comments below:
“I was able to get down to the core issues surrounding my distorted beliefs, which I didn’t feel were distorted until we picked apart some of the thought patterns that I had every single day. I really believed my thoughts and views were not a key factor at all – but they are! I really enjoyed that the eating issues were not the core focus; figuring out what part of our thoughts triggered the emotions to engage in a self-destructive patters were – and that is truly helpful.”
“It was helpful to hear from other people dealing with food issues – it helped me to realize that many of our core issues are the same even though it may manifest itself in different ways. It was good to start breaking down the overwhelming feeling of anxiety into more manageable pieces that don’t feel quite so daunting to face. As hard it was t open up about painful issues with other people listening, I think it was a good jump start to being able to share more in the future. Good venue – comfortable couches – nice to have snacks and lunch provided.”
“First off I just want to say THANK YOU! This weekend has been such an amazing and eye opening experience for me. I really feel that I now have way better tools too deal with my feelings, anxieties and problems. You provided such a safe and loving environment that I felt okay expressing my feelings and showing my weaknesses.”
“This weekend helped me identify the Drill Sargent and clarify the compassionate part that wants me to get my needs met. Tying in identifying my needs and Maslow’s Hierarchy was also helpful to refer back to – the structure of it was a concrete tool that was great. I liked the format – going into and doing the inner ‘Drill Sergeant Dialogue’ and List of Stressors and reviewing that – also was great to hear other participants’ comments – made the weekend dynamic and helped learning.”
“I learned about ‘Drill Sergent’s’ messages that she sends/tells me. I did not know that D.S. wanted best for me, except that D.S. has a very warped way of doing it.
I learned that i could use more practice in using non-violent words when I trying communicate with others.
I really got a sense of what ‘all or nothing thinking’ is and how it affects me.
I learned and want to learn more about co-dependence.
I learned that there is a light at the end of the tunnel for me, until this weekend I thought that this way of ‘living’ was going to be my destiny.
I learned new tools to help me in counselling and in my relationships with family.”
Hello out there in our CEDRIC community! I’m pleased to announce that CEDRIC is offering our Phase I Intensive Weekend Workshop takes place in Vancouver, a Phase II Transformative Weekend Workshop April 20th to 22nd and a Phase III workshop May 11th to 13th.
We have a Phase I three-day Weekend Workshop in Victoria, June 1st to 3rd in Vancouver, and July 20th to 22nd in Victoria and we have a Phase I Transformative Weekend Workshop in Calgary for the first time soon! Call us for details at 866-383-0797.
These intensives are called ‘transformative’ for a reason! If you’d like to experience rapid and lasting change in your relationship with food and your feelings towards your body, join us for our intensive weekend workshop. For more information email email@example.com. I’m happy to answer any questions you might have or contact my assistant, Janice at firstname.lastname@example.org. Come and join us and see how quickly and easily you can forever change your relationship with food!
If you are interested in a Intensive Weekend Workshop in your area, please contact Janice at email@example.com or 866-383-0797 to have your name put on a waiting list in case we organize one near you.
Here’s a quick little tool that, if you use it, will be all you need to completely overcome any limiting beliefs you are carrying.
* I’m unimportant.
* I’m going to be rejected.
* I’m going to be abandoned.
* I should be more fun.
* I should be lighter.
* I am not smart enough.
* I’m not good enough.
* I am unlovable.
Whenever you start to feel anything other than peaceful and grounded, ask yourself if you’ve just had one of these thoughts. If so, remind yourself that that’s your old core belief – it’s an old story that never was true and certainly isn’t true now. Then remind yourself of what you’d like to believe and let go of needing anyone outside of yourself to agree with that new, desired belief. You have the right and the ability to love andapprove of yourself completely, regardless of what others might think, say or do.
Any time you spend looking to others for validation of your “okay-ness” is time spent feeling anxious and insecure and only serves to reinforce those old harmful beliefs. Just notice any feelings of anxiety and insecurity and check to see whether any of those old beliefs have just been triggered then remind yourself that they’re only old stories and reinforce your desired belief and you’ll immediately feel more peaceful, relaxed and grounded in yourself.
Initially you may have to do this every few minutes in a stressful circumstance but trust me, in a short period of time you will get to a place where those old thoughts hardly, if ever, come up and you live in a state of peace and self-love most of the time.
If you would like more information on this process or would like to know how I can say, with absolute certainty, never having met you, that your beliefs aren’t true and never ever were, I encourage you to read a copy of my book Food is not the Problem: Deal With What Is. The book covers all the key tools you need to have a life free from food and body image stress and from the old core beliefs and self-esteem limitations that triggered it in the first place. You can purchase a copy for immediate download or a hard copy at the following link: Books
Have a great day and give this tool a try – show yourself how these stories that aren’t true really are at the root of all your pain and stress. Then it’s a hop skip and a jump to let those old stories go and embrace the truth about the beautiful, intelligent being that you really are.
Hello and welcome to the CEDRIC blog.
Did you make any new year’s resolutions? Did you promise yourself this would be the year that you finally got your food, body image, life, under control?
How’s it going, so far?
Remember that Einstein said “the same mind that created the problem can’t be used to solve it.”
What that means to me is that, regardless of how much I want to change something that’s bugging me about me or my life, if I don’t get some new information or learn some new tools, no matter how hard I try, I am going to find myself back in the same place that I started – only likely feeling a little more defeated and despairing. If you are still wondering how to create a peaceful and easy relationship with food, chances are you just need a bit of new information and a few new tools and you’ll be on your way.
You can identify yourself as someone who uses food to cope if any of these statements describe you often:
1. You’re wanting to eat and aren’t hungry;
2. You’re eating past the point of fullness;
3. and/or You’re aware you’re hungry but aren’t allowing yourself to eat because a. no one else is; b. it’s not a socially prescribed meal time; c. you’ve had your caloric allotment for this time / day; or d. the you think that pushing yourself to wait when you’re hungry is going to make you lose weight faster.
If any of the above statements describe you, you use food to cope. (more…)
My kittens don’t have an eating problem. I give them food and they beg for anything they see me eating. No problem.
They are not affected by the world around them in the sense that we humans are. Every day we “walking upright” are inundated by messages that come at us from all sides leading us to need to be acceptable externally through our appearance. I don’t need to tell you what these messages are, everyone recognizes them, but hardly anyone admits how harmful the constant barrage of negativity is. I will use a few examples. Watching TV last night, I see a new angle is being used by marketers to sell oatmeal. ‘Weight control’ is what the large print on the box says. In smaller print, the word ‘oatmeal’ resides near it but the message is loud and clear. You are to start the day with your inequities (those extra pounds you’re packing) glaring you in the face from the very minute you open your cupboards. (more…)
As I type, I breathe in the sweet aroma of the hyacinth blooming wickedly early in its pot on the edge of my desk. I put it there to remind me that winter is not capable of eternally putting its grip on me, that there is a light at the end of all this bundling up and hiding in our clothes to stay warm and soon, we too will have an opportunity to blossom and affect those around us with our own influence, just as the purple perfume of the hyacinth teases me now.
Mindfulness is not something that the hyacinth has to concern itself about but it is indeed necessary if we are to do the important work of evolving. Flowers merely have to exist and that is enough, and there is something Zenlike to be learned from that, but we humans are here for more complicated tasks and as we function on many levels in an automatic fashion, we must consider our fate, our future and the implications of our actions upon our lives and that of others.
When I am dealing with issues around my infernal weight gain, I wish I could be happy as a plump hyacinth in the field that cares not whether it is trim or not, but alas, being human, I have to own up to it and take responsibility for my actions. I HAVEN’T been fair to myself, I HAVEN’T been good to my physical body, I HAVE neglected to be mindful when it comes to my personal health. It has been at my expense that I have spent the past 22 years taking care of others and that is thankfully changing.
In my effort to evolve as a person taking up the space I was intended to, rather than my and two other people’s share, I have spent the past week being mindful of many things I usually let flow by the wayside. Premier in my attentiveness has been watching the labels of what I purchase to use as food for my home. I can see immediate responses as my body already reflects the lack of HFCS I used to flood my poor liver with. Not only do I sleep more soundly, I am noticing that I am much less stiff when moving from a sedentary position, that my back doesn’t ache when I walk like it used to, and that I am limber enough to put on my own socks!!! It’s a bloomin’ miracle!
Being mindful to me also means setting ones intentions to live with integrity, to attend to needs in sustainable ways, to care for others but not at the expense of myself. So here we are, facing the end of the second week of 2009. How have you altered your course to live more intentionally? Is your competence approaching unconsciousness yet? Mine hasn’t but I feel like I’m well on my way.
As January streaks by, I take time to ponder what I expect of the year. Last year I accomplished much in the way of moving mountains, but this year is going to be even more magical, methinks. In the meantime, I am taking time to get my trajectory on a path that will lead me to being happier inside and out. My last blog article mentioned Time Management, and I wanted to talk about that a wee bit today as I found that the zen of preparing my veggies for the week is going to be a crucial step towards my finding that balance. As I acquired my groceries for the week, in the outside aisles of the supermarket were where I shopped, I took home a plethora of veggies and instead of mindlessly tossing them into the veggie cooler in the fridge, I laid them out to wash. The organic peppers, carrots, broccoli and cauliflower were a colourful delight on my cutting board and I found myself daydreaming about the future as I took care to prepare all the veggies I brought home, in one fell swoop.
The rainbow of peppers, and all the other veggies were chopped into small pieces or spears and placed in containers that I stacked in the fridge. It took me an hour to cut them all, but the prep is done now, nothing left but the glory of devouring the delicious little morsels. Not only that, but as I prepare my subsequent meals, its lovely to be able to reach into those prepared veggie containers and grab a handful of this and that to add to the curry or whatever I’m creating. As I cut for that hour, I was mindful of my home’s sanctity, of the peace within, of the happiness and innocence of my kittens, and of how fortunate I am to be in a place in my life where there is so much harmony. I set my sights then, on attaining everything I need for the year, and of course, part of that is to slim down naturally, without denying myself overly much, WITHOUT dieting. In a way, its as if an hour’s blessing has infused these veggies with the sweet peace I need to bravely face all the new adventures coming down the road at me. Timeliness… mindfulness… its all part and parcel of developing that nebulous competence muscle that I’m learning to get much better at utilizing. Can Unconscious competence be far off?
Now, every day before I bound off to whatever endeavour I am party to, I stuff a little tupperware container with about three cups of fresh chopped veggies into my voluminous handbag or backpack. Instead of caving to the cravings that the old Tina (Chris) used to give in to, I have an abundance of tastes all ready to placate myself with, where I don’t feel denied and I don’t feel like I’ve drugged myself with the horrible effects of fast food and wannabe sugar snacks.
I’m feeling better already!
So, tell me, what is your ponderance when it comes to mindfulness?
Tina Budeweit-Weeks is a member of the CEDRIC Success Team in the role of staff writer and executive assistant for Michelle Morand. Her philosophy has always been one of self-nurturance and dignity. In support of the complex difficulties clients may experience around regaining a healthy balance, Tina’s writing is designed to sympathize, support, encourage and inform. Although there are many similarities in Tina’s process, she is not a client, but a hard working, behind-the-scenes member of the team, dedicated to helping the CEDRIC Centre stay current and effective.
The blizzards of 2008 have made way for the blizzards, windstorms and tumultuous rainstorms of 2009. Oh joy. Perfect weather for staying warm and dry inside.
I am currently craving more than food at the moment. It’s sunshine I need, accompanied with the smell of undergrowth burgeoning with life as the leafy blanket covering the soil warms up and sets shoots and mushrooms skyward.
It reminds me of where I am this process. Although there is not much going on, on the surface, there is a lot happening underneath as my roots find purchase and begin the long yearly traditions of gathering nutrition, planning growth and then of growing. I am hoping that my process of getting a grip on my weight gain and turning it around responds from a similar perspective.
I’m taking this opportunity to develop and create an environment that nurtures affirmative change. In my social world, in my private world or where I am when I am at work, there are developments at hand that allow me to start fresh at this exciting time of my life. I am no longer a mother, no longer a student, now I’m a cosmopolitan woman with a vibrant life, a great career, a safe and stable home where I am less concerned about fiscal shortcomings than I can ever remember. This IS the kind of place where I can feel safe starting anew.
So the lingering winter can do what it wants. As much as I want to get on my bike to and from work, it can wait. For now, I’m exploring organic venues for food for my home, recipes and ideas that will support my need for more fresh fruits, veggies and nuts in my diet, as well as exercise regimes that stimulate rather than exhaust.
As a rather large seagull has landed outside the office window and startled me, I’m reminded by providence to keep myself available for spontaneous opportunities that will arise allowing me to maximize my life, as I like to say, it may be short, but we can make our lives as wide as we want them to be.
Michelle speaks of Conscious Competence when refering to our Core Beliefs and I have a similar philosophy to living consciously. It is through ‘Living with Intention’ that the most positive steps are taken. By ‘Living with Intention’, I mean to live with awareness. Know your shortcomings, deal accordingly. Know your choices, refer to the pertinent one that applies to the present. With repeated reference to the skills that allow one to walk lightly on the earth, to be gentle with themselves in their food choices and their self-talk, as Michelle says, these behaviours morph into Unconscious Competence, Livng with Intention as second nature or our natural response.
Change can be a good thing. It allows our roots to be fertilized by the long winters and it is a way of setting our intentions so that we can make our will be known, invoke the outcomes in the distance we wish to connect to, and then surrender ourselves to living with integrity until we can connect on the timeline to where we have set our sights.
Goals need to be set, and in these dark, rainy weeks before spring, there is no better time to think about what it is we want to attract into our lives in the coming year.
Can we get ourselves back to balance?
I am reminded of US President-Elect, Barrack Obama’s determined cry… ‘YES WE CAN!’
Reading the CEDRIC Core Beliefs Handbook, it’s no surprise to me that by looking to the source of my inner diminishment, my childhood, I am able to put the finger right on the basis of CEDRIC teachings. Core Beliefs are really the foundation for any psyche and as I learn to reshuffle my personal priorities and internalized understandings, the difficult issues of low self-esteem and lowered self worth in my past are deeply ingrained and something I must focus on overcoming everyday. Here’s how I’m working through this:
Putting oneself first is no mean feat when I’ve spend the last twenty plus years putting the needs of my children ahead of myself as they grew up, as it should be. The danger here, though, is that there is a tendency to hide behind distractions such as letting the priorities of others become a deterrent to our dealing with our own needs. Eating right and regularly contribute to maintaining a holistic lifestyle, but when one is unable to ascertain what one needs because historically the needs of others have overridden our personal needs, unhealthy habits become the norm. Habits like snacking, caving to temptations, and unintentional imbibing that is a knee jerk response to frustration all contribute to harming one’s body and one’s body image and as a result, one’s self esteem faces a downward spiral.
Finding the balance has always been the trick for this Libran, who’s scales are always teetering and rarely level. Striving for harmony and harmonious surroundings is much easier now that my life has changed so much. Not a parent any longer, nor am I a student. My newfound identity as an independent woman finds me in a loved relationship, both within, with myself, and without, with my hubby, which distracts me much less now.
Tina’s Journey – ‘Skiing’ all year
The Core Beliefs handbook suggests one should look to where in their childhood they first felt blindsided and their delicate self esteem began taking abuse. Its easy for me to pinpoint this. As a child, I grew up in a home where my mother was oblivious of the impact of her callousness on her two daughters. It wasn’t until after years of counselling and self work that I have learned to not assign blame in my mother’s direction however. She was and always will be a victim of World War II, having grown up in Germany during the war years as the oldest girl in a large family that was headed by an authoritarian father who had no business parenting, and who had no idea how his corporal attitudes would reflect on his grandchildren when his children became adults and had kids of their own.
My mother dismissed counselling, denying it of any value, believing it was for ‘crazy people’. As a result, the Russian soldiers who caused her family so much grief are still winning – still there in her mind with their long-ago abuses reflected through all her daily actions.
When Anthony Robbins, the famous motivational guru, talks about people’s emotional winters, I think of my mother, who exemplifies the role of eternal victim. Unlike her, I am a survivor, excelling in spite of my life and history, not because of it. Tony Robbins says that when people face their emotional winters, face their core challenges, some people go skiing, some choose to freeze to death. Mom chose the latter, but in my best interests, I’ve not only learned to ‘ski’, but I’ve raised my children into adulthood with the skills needed to face their hardships in the affirmative – to take the lessons presented by the current challenges and ski with them.
My mother, as a result, was very hard on my headstrong and precocious self. Her constant diminishment, her tendency to hit and scream without warning, caused me to have extremely low self esteem until well into my 30’s, when I began in earnest, to rectify this, through counselling. The hard work has paid off, as I now have a fairly solid self image that I and noone else has defined. In spite of this, though, it’s ironic that the ingrained, ancient self perceptions planted by my mother have caused my ‘Drill Sergeant’ to have my mother’s soft, clipped voice with its germanic/British accent.
I can say, encouragingly, that as one becomes more skilled in handling challenges, in staying in the love, in staying positive, that Drill Sergeant’s voice becomes much more sporadic and definitely less vehement. Now, when I hear that internal critic speaking to me in a voice that my close friends would NEVER use towards me, I take it as a sign that I am tired, overworked, out of energy, hungry or just needing to change my focus from one of outwardly dealing with the needs of others, and instead, begin considering what my own needs are.
One priceless counselling experience really helped me address the tendency of my Drill Sergeant’s callous opinion of myself to blindside my confidence which often contributed to causing me to second-guess myself. This innovative counselor listened to me as I outlined some of my history and after thinking a bit, she replied, “When you hear that internal dialogue of self-diminishment, instead of giving it undue energy, just acknowledge it… just try responding minimally by saying to yourself ‘There it is.’ and then return to whatever you were doing.”
That suggestion has proven to be pure gold. The old me was prone to stop in my tracks and take on the Drill Sergeant’s barrage of self-critical input, disrupting my confidence. By applying the simple words ‘There it is’, and consciously choosing to not let it get to me, I circumvented a very old knee-jerk response, and ultimately, it changed my life.
It wasn’t easy at first – old habits die hard and the Drill Sergeant doesn’t give up without a concerted battle. I perservered with repeated applications of the ‘There it is’ exercise, and like new muscle using repetition, I was able to mute self-deprecating internal dialogue much more easily. By identifying where my personal perspective of core esteem began, I can lay those blue meanies to rest, redeem myself for the valid and capable person I have become, and move ahead.
Maybe that’s the lesson to glean from this whole challenge. The red flag that flies up when I hear the Drill Sergeant now, tells me not to listen to the words of the DS but to the existence of my personal state changing to one of more accumulated stress than I can bear, and to start to focus on myself immediately.
I hope my insights around core beliefs have a positive effect on your process. As we journey together towards wholeness, we need to know that those who try to diminish us exist (that’s self preservation). We should pay attention to how they operate and where they come from, but we don’t need to give them energy, and that goes for the ‘Drill Sergeant’ as well.